Stop Being Mary Jane

The visual of a successful, beautiful, black woman is so wonderful. Olivia Pope and Mary Jane Paul are both examples of these things. They're also examples of high class side chicks. Putting them in powerful, lucrative positions does NOT change this. Why can't they be successful,and uninvolved? Better yet, why can't they be involved with single men? The most disturbing thing is these shows are number 1 with women. Why oh why does such drama intrigue you so? Ironically, they say they're lives are drama free. Now I'm not naive, I know these things happen, these are real life situations. I know there's a shortage of black men, between jail, street violence, and growing homosexuality, it's rough out here for our ladies. Truth is, It's damn near impossible to find that special all yours man. Damn near, not impossible. The other fact of the matter is that these tv execs know this too and want to capitalize on your sorrow. So now you all rush to your television on Tuesday and Thursday to see the trials and tribulations of these women who have everything but their own man. This behavior is not ok. Not even a little bit. I'm not judging you, I'm just saying these stories should entertain not become something to aspire to. Some have called Being Mary Jane "The working Womans survival guide" please please please don't feed into this!! You're survival does not depend on having a man at all costs. When the time is right, the right man will be right on time. I love Scandal, its full of suspense, twists and turns. Brilliant tv writing. I just don't think Liv's lifestyle is one that should be aspired to. Think about it.

The Black And White Of It All

It's amazing to me how we as Black people can see blatantly ghetto behavior and call it normal. In turn our children see this and we say "That's just what we do". When did we confuse ghetto behavior with black behavior? Example: A surburban black youth interacts with a group of inner city black youth. He/She has a conversation with the inner city youth. Upon hearing the suburban youth speak, the inner city youth say "Why you sound white? Where you from?" This interaction confuses and perplexes the suburban youth. This will cause one of two reactions. 1. He/She will seek out anc study every visual, audio, and physical example of stereotypical urban behavior and emulate it. 2. They will totally alienate all urban situations and behaviors and turn solely to the experiences commonly held buy suburban caucasians. Here's the truth of the matter, behavior should NOT be classified by race. Behavior should be classified by whether it's appropriate or inappropriate. Why must so many born in the inner city embrace the negative as the behavior of black people? Why when those who were born in a suburban area and speak proper english be stripped of their blackness because they do so? I believe we need a reeducation on what makes a black person a black person. We say so much about white people holding us back or separating us. There's truth to this but we aid those that work to do these things by portraying ignorance like this. Teach the young that sounding educated is acceptable, even exceptional. Teach them that emulating scholars is better than idolizing rappers. Teach them that love for God and mankind is cooler than the I don't give a f@#$ attitude. Teach them that you get farther with respect and manners than you do with intimidation and force. Change the youth, save the world.

The Crimeless Victim

We all know people who always have a story about the wrongs the world has done to them. You know the type, never ever did anything to deserve whatever, they can't understand why so and so stopped talking to them, the why don't my friends want to kick it with me pity party host/hostess. I have one thing to say to you, STOP!!! Did you stop to think that this very type of behavior is the reason why your pity party is a party for one? Could this behavior be the reason why the well of sympathy from others for your so-called situations has run desert dry? Is this attitude the reason why your texts go unanswered and your voicemails are habitually ignored? My guess would be yes. No one who is about handling life as it comes is interested in someone who wants to stop when life comes as it is. It becomes a tedious process just talking to this person. They go on and on about whatever as if the whole world is in on a plot to destroy life as they know it when all that happened is, their remote batteries are dead. There's never a positive, uplifting word  from these people, only tragedy, heartache, and disaster. Life can't be this terrible for anyone. Their romantic life is always so great, for the first 6 minutes. Then they say the 1, 000, 000 things wrong with the person they're with when the truth is they drove this person bats*** crazy with their constant dark mood and senseless pessimistic conversation. It's like a real life version of Deliver Us From Eva. I have a suggestion for you people, get over yourself. We all have issues, problems, and hard times. It's not these mishaps that define us, It's how we deal with and learn from them that does. If you dwell in the places that the past exists you'll never be able to partake in what the present has to offer, let alone build on the present for the future. Newsflash, we're not in high school anymore! The teenage angst you exude is dated and misplaced. Grow up and accept responsibility for your life and the direction it takes!!!  Join the real world instead of asking why me? (Drops mic, steps off soapbox.)

Love The Ladies...

I've been seeing and hearing a lot of foolishness regarding women. Notice I didn't specify any color of woman either. Don't you know that the female of the species is a gift from God to us? They carry our future generations in their bodies. Like Pac said "Since we all came from a woman, got our name from a woman, and our game from a woman. I wonder why we take from our women, why we rape our women, do we hate our women?" No man can tell me that women aren't essential to our existence. Even gay men reverence the women in their lives. It's heartbreaking to see the way women are treated by the men that they've given birth to.
Now the flipside of the coin is this, women have a responsibility to act like they deserve respect. Stop belittling yourself with twerk videos and provocative dress. Don't get me wrong, I don't judge a book by it's cover but, if the book reads itself to me why buy it? The whole "I don't need a man to do nothing for me" attitude doesn't make you look strong to men, it makes you seem unapproachable and in turn unattractive. I love love love strong women but one that compliments my own strength, not competes with it. Steve Harvey was a little off with telling you to ACT like a lady think like a man. How about BE a lady and you'll attract a man.

Now back to the fellas. How about we step up from real niggaz to gentlemen. Can we please act, dress, speak, and work like gentlemen?! If we don't show women what they are told they should be looking for, how will they ever break away from feeling they don't need us? Also please stop telling me there are no good women out here when you are acting as if they need to be completely perfect inside and out. We act like Marcus Graham from Boomerang, leaving a woman for something as small as corns on her feet. Our superficial point of view and ridiculous standards are crippling our women. How much can you say with your pants tighter than hers and them sagging past your ass? You look like one of her girlfriends man!!! Man up!!!!

All I can say is ladies, I love you. Let's both be better to each other.

Laugh A Little!

We spend all day working hard to take care of our families only to go home and be the caretakers of our families. In my case not only must I see to the needs of my wife, I have elderly parents to look after as well. The highlight of my day usually comes in the form of a funny video or comment on Facebook. I'm able to do the most simple, therapeutic thing in the world, laugh. Not to say that it's not satisfying caring for and being with my family, just saying that the release that comedic moments offers is essential to my sanity. It's been said "laughter is the best medicine " Well, it is. Laughter can also be seen like a healthy virus  because it's infectious. It seems to simple to work but it is. I've seen jokes used to keep people from getting beat up. Richard Pryor said he used laughter in jail to keep people from attacking him. It has so many practical and impractical uses.I encourage you to laugh a little today. Watch how your day becomes a little easier. Just a thought.... 

New Year Revolution

So, all the New Year's Resolutions have been made. The new diet, the new exercise regimen, the new dating rules, the new YOU! Consider this for a moment, what if the old year's you was who you needed to be in the new year? What if you actually finished the positive changes you started making in 2013? What if instead of making a resolution, you continued your evolution? I propose that we do away with the fabled new years resolutions and start a new years revolution consisting of continuing to evolve from the year before. The process of becoming the best you you can be doesn't just magically happen on January 1st. It took a conscious decision made before then to change your perspective on certain areas of your life. Don't settle for a resolve, be radical and revolutionary!!!